i have got nothing to say....

weehu.. today was teachers day celebration and aces day... hmm... i wonder why we all are young enough for 'all children exercising simultaneously' day but too old for children's day. ah, the hypocrisy. its like your parents saying you too young to do something(when they don't like it) and then say you so old, dunno how to act maturely (when we don't). ain't it confusing? hmm. am befuddled. why do we all contradict ourself so much? i shall not say anymore.

it seems that my shopping list drew alot of attention. i had the most no. of comments man since a long time. oh well, thankz for leaving a note, guyz! haha.

the performances were entertaining on most parts but were seriously racist. lets see, 401, 402, 404... alot of them were parodies on the indians. how insulting. someone just had the cheek to say "nvm la, its just a play..." its a manifestation of the inner racism in everyone in the school. can you imagine? all the chinese reading this... what if you are teaching students and then on the day they are supposed to appreciate you, they tease you about your slitty eyes and immitate your accent... no... not imitate... mutilate... oh my god. and its not only one item,,, its a whole row. how can a school advocate racism in school? in such a prissy, anal school summore. i thought the councillors would have been more considerate about the racial sensitivites in school, but no... oh well shit happens... and usually, we cant do much but swallow the shit. or at least 'welcome' it with open arms.

life is effing unfair, what can i do???

i contemplate my position in my love life. waitaminute. ... i don't have one. i realise that i am not popular around school.. hanceforth, i shall begin a campaign to get known around school. no, i are kidding. i'll neber get to do that. unless i propose a radical change... or become notorious.

oh well... shant say anything else have to go fold clothes. man... i slave for others man...

*my shopping list*

1. just-above-the-knee stiff black skirt.

2. a short v-neck tunic black blouse

3. a white halter

4. black mid-calf flare pants

5. a halter dress in black/white

6. pointy black heels

7. running shoes (yonex)

8. school just-above-the-ankle socks (lots of them)

9. a dress: dark grey, with little details, 3/4 arms, just-below-the-knee, deep v-neck, bias cut, trumpet arms

10. a big black tote bag with at least one inside pocket and one outside pocket.

11. black ankle boots

12. kimono, cheongsam, kebaya blouse

13. a good curling iron

14. a black satin clutch

15. halterkini that covers my boobs with boy-legs

16. easel

17. sports bras

18. the nomad muvo 2

19. bootcut jeans

20. drawstring pants in various colours and materials.

Hahahaha... What alot of stuff to buy. hmm. still got somemore, but this is my top twenty... i hope i can win some money. or just find alot of moolah lying on the floor. or i have to get a job. a real one. haha. but. i'll do this after my o's. hmm. or maybe i shouldnt use my pocket money for food an travel. perhaps i should lead a healthier live by walking from home to school, which means, i can save on travel. thats at least 15 bucks per fortnight. and dont eat in school, at least 10 per week. thats a lot of moolah. and add my current pay of 160 per nth. hmm... but some ppl got owe me money haven gimme back. my ma owes me 80.. but she forgot about the 50 bucks she borrowed. but i cant be so calculative right? but now my bank account jialat oready. hahaha. and someone else oso got owe me money. haiyah. i sound like a loan shark right? i sure don't act like one.

anyway, have just went through my wardrobe. its still decent. i only need to alter some stuff. like a kebaya top with too big arm holes and the neck weird2 wan. then my black pants, i just have to remove the waist band and remove an inch from each side of the waist. and i should invest in a good pair of strappy high-heeled sandals. oh well. gotogo. will edit this later.

*added* i love tiny writing. i just discovered the joy of tis.. tiny writing. haha. anyway. i think my blogs getting abit old. shall... update it .. yes.. after i am not so busy. my heart is turmoil-ic.. haha.. actually, i should prolly stop haha-ing after every sentence. haha. woops. wad was i here for? oh yes. to complain. that no one updates their blogs. no one updates their ods. no one wants to play with me. i feel like an abandoned child in an empty room. with no entertainment. so i shall rot. even my sister and brother dowan to play badminton with me. so sian. i wan to go swimming but the far-king weather..... you should noe. haiz. doing stuff alone is unfun. and doing unfun stuff with other ppl is,well, unfun. and i suddenly feel like got some heavy weight in my chest. no, its not phelgm. its the feeling of dissatisfication. i wish the world always go my way. then, everyone will wear black with only a hint of colour and tapered pants dont exist. oh! and pleated pants too. and bad hair. and gross skin. cand cheats. but then, life would be boring right?

anyway, hmm. i love deco! too bad his nickname also means DECOration. bah. trying to find anything about him is like trying to sift through tons of my accumulated junk i have in my room. its so much easier to openly admire a person farway then someone in the school, level or the class. oh well. i hope deco aint married. if he is, i'd be totally disgusted and right away indulge myself in another faraway person i can drool over. such is my fate. and i cant find any way to contact him. i am sure he doesnt have tons of fan mails from girls. since i showed his pic to some of my friends and they din think he was particularly cute. they all went "i prefer christiano.. he is like WOAH!!" ... he is toooo plastic. Deco, on the other hand, is just right! esp the look in his eyes in the photo in my wallet. okaaay, more like a newspaper cutout but he is damn cuuuute!! i hope he takes care of his skin and doesnt start to sag or wrinkle or anything. he is too cute to be destroyed like dat... i realise that my emotions are used in vain. i am prolly never gonna meet him. he prolly cant speak proper english (and this is my pet peeve) he prolly wont be coming to singapore. i am prolly not going to europe. he is prolly gonna get married next year or is already married. why the hell am i doing this anyway? bah~

yay!

i feel like a delinquent. hehe. i was supposed to go for group study today. instead i reached there at 3, due to some circumstances. and then zafirah had to leave. hahaha. then suhailah was thinking about her prom night and what see gonna wear. hahaha. then we set off to find her clothes. hahah.i din study at all lor. because i got no mood le... and the reason was because i reached there 2 hrs late. bugger. so i got no mood lor. so first we went to causeway point then she realised that she has more choices than jus an evening gown. i dont mean to blow my own horm but she said i have a good fashion sense. how ironical. hahah. i dress like a bag. perhaps i should churn out a new line by "A.A."... made from plastic bags. recyled ones no less. stay dry in the rain and stainless in whatever occasion. no need for detergent. just rinse with soap water and your whole wardrobe will be sparkling new in just a minute.... i am sorry... i have gotten upset and shall now rant in my diary...

this was wad i wrote but got translated into symbols::::: 1/2 blocks of prelim studies left!!! yay! farah and i have finally decided on our *eville little project*. thing is, i afraid not enough time to complete the *eville little project*. haiyah. am cramping. stupid pms. why?? why?? why?? u can prolly tell that i am not thinking clearly... perhaps i shouldnt have written this entry, bugger....

anyway, its weird when inspiration hits me. u noe yesterday, i got two lines to a death poem. today i was walking back from school then i was thinking depressive thoughts than two lines hit me again. hmm. if i am depressed long enough, those lines may make a great poem. hmmm. so i think about how those lines came about and am very surprised. have a feeling it'll be a good poem and it'll rhyme. wee!

today was my english o level orals. oh well. have no comment. though i missed points that i had thought about when i was prereading the picture. oh well. shoot me. and the conversation was a bit hmm...i dunno wad to say. cant say it was good. will not say it was bad. oh well. shall die if i get low marks.

stupid darned cough.cough and cough. then just now when i was reading, the phelgm *grr grr* inside my throat. gross.. haha... i did nth much today. crapped alot with sharan. and we both loved 'whose line is it anyway' and 'bhangra man!!. {random thought of the moment: I love frothy hot mocca with the foam!!} hahaha...

alright, now my grandmother is in my room with the self-pitiful look and pleads for me to go massage her arm. i got nth against doing stuff for other ppl. but i HATE the "O pity me, coz i am in pain and nothing agrees with me anymore.'' bargh. now my hadns are all oily and heaty from the medicated oil. i gladly help ppl but pls, dun bloody nag me. it infuriates me. like mr cheong. i NOE mr cheong and i am confident i can finish my work at my own pace. dun be so kan cheong. haiyah. wad can i say. i must admit sometimes i oso abit kan cheong. but thats because i have evidence from past experiences to be kan cheong. oh well.

today is not my day.

am quite pissed wit some stuff. but pleased that i have finished my final artpiece. YAY!!! now left 2 1/2 blocks of prelim studies left!!! yay! farah and i have finally decided on our *eville little project*. thing is, i afraid not enough time to complete the *eville little project*. haiyah. am cramping. stupid pms. why?? why?? why?? u can prolly tell that i am not thinking clearly... perhaps i shouldnt have written this entry, bugger....

i was as

the cattery. so many cats! weee! got fat cats, skinny cats, in short, all kinds of cats. i love cats. meow! i wish i had one. oh well. it is really a boring without a cat. i love cats. there was this cat that looked exactly like garfield. fat. wide faced. and stripy. so cute. then they were kittens. so cute. and so playful. and they all crowded me and vied for attention. so cute! i tink i am gonna get one. it'll be a family cat. should i get a fat, lazy one or an active, young one? hmm. am not sure. maybe i should get two. hmm. i love cats. (am sorry for the constant refrains of 'i love cats'.) i felt like weeping just now. they were so pitiful, esp the sick ones. living without anyone to care for them. in the wild nvm lah, they noe nature. but in the cities and stuff, u think they learn about carbon monoxide emission and the sewerage system? they fall prey to human inventions. hah! and the other day, i saw a pregnant cat mewing for food(coz it was really emaciated) poor thing. some kind soul did offer her some food eventually but i was surprised at myself for tearing at the thought of that poor cat. oh no! am i becoming sentimental? noooooooo...

darned cough. am coughing and coughing. dunno why. do i have tb? oh no. maybe not. nvm. but its reall hard on my throat and now, i have a sexy voice. haha. maybe not. i remember during the class outing in june this year, i coughed the whole way from pasir ris to yew tee on the mrt and i was tearing and stuff. eurgh. how terrible.

yay!

i got a1 for malay o level. actually, i did not know what to expect. when cikgu announced only got one a1, my trepidation started. i tot, sure rafidah. but he announced my name. hee. poor raf. she got a2 and she cried coz pressure from parents. imran too. tht one really sad case. work so hard, then got b4 only. izyanti too. izyanti sort of gave up on her malay which is sad. because i believe she can. she gave up on her amaths too. hmm. ephipany. but i'd rather not put it here. lest i incur the wrath of he-who-shall-not-be-named.

i am fat. i truly realised that. today. all the while i have been thinking that i am just chubbier than normal and we'll have the situation under control. i don't freakin care about wad other ppl think but i feel uncomfortable in my weight. its hard to walk. hard to prance. hard to gelek. hard to spin about. (ref to physics chapter on inertia) henceforth, i shall go on my conquest to lose 5kgs by the end of this year and another 5 by next march. you cant rush these things. summore i very busy. run here run there. i wish i had more physical activity. but no one wans to do it with me. swimming, badminton, basketball. i am always 'on' if i dun have anything happening that i can reschedule. i even ponteng my art to go swimming. hmm. hmmmmpht.

noooooooo..... i have joined the ranks of blubbery semicomatose organisms. i am fat. oh well. at least i am insulated.

hmmm...

i shall revamp my blog after the prelims... no... after... hmmm... after i finish my preliminary studies. yesh. am now panicking. someone said wednesday oue results coming out. which is... *shock* *horror* tml!!! oh well. shall face it bravely, like i always do. hah!

oh i lament the fate of my popularity

yesh... i been gone for... 4 days and have one miserable tag on my tag-board. even that person was just asking if i was that stupid fat girl from that cool class. oh yesh i have a wonderful self esteem. anyway, i'll type wad i have done for the past few days even without anyone asking. yesh. wad do they call people who do that? i cant remember the adjective.

so anyway, i was at my auntie's house in pontian, johor. din do alot there. let see. i killed alot of fleas/nit/ticks/kutus. they were on the ears of the 16 cats they had. of, course with that no. of cats, its quite difficult for them to bathe them regularly, right? it was an obsessive affair, hunting for that beady little thing through the forest of fur and then killing it by squeezing its little shiny body between my nails and its bodily fluids squirt out. eurgh. of course, i thoroughly washed my hands after that little activity. the thought of eating with kutu juice as an extra seasoning more than put me off. yuck. haha. anyway that little trip just made me wish that i had a cat. they are so cute and adorable and so... manja.. wads that word? forgot the english word for it... oh well. then, we went to batu pahat, another aunties' house. did not do alot. only sent cloth to the tailor's whose kids were terrible. eurgh. just a reminder why i am not keen on having children. so anyway. it seems boring when i type it out. actually it was quite relaxing. no hassle, no worries (except for the pile of homework left in another country). oh well, tah-tah!

made a fruit thingy today

it taste weird. consisted of watermelon, green apple, orange juice and banana. shouldn't have put in the banana. it has strong taste. i put one only, compared to a 1/4 of a small watermelon and i can still taste it now. hmm. learn by mistakes man. anyway, today we celebrated national day in school. haha. wad an eventful day. but its kinda private and i dun wish to bare my feelings here. anyway. it was fun. hah. things worth nothing: the 'smoothie' tasted weird, the school so budget, give painfully thin towels as souveniers and that hormones are terrible. hah!

i ponder my fickle mind.

anyway, nth major happened today. only toked to some guy from the states who seemed abit off centre. haha. everyone seems abit off centre these days. haha.

veriwildcat

Yay! long holiday ahead. time for late mornings, late night tv and homework catch-up. actually, theres alot of catching up to do. esp for physics. alot alot of work. but too bad... i am going to malaysia for a holiday. hahax. visit my relatives there. monday, i think, i come back. yeah. still haven finish my art. too hard. got no inspiration. my muse on holiday again. haiz. my muse is so lazy. always go into hiding when i need it most. bah!

anyway. i realise ppl probably dun read my entries here any more. i tink so. coz no one comments on them. haha. we will noe for sure when we see the tag board after we put this entry up right?

today was an uneventful day again. farah and i got down what we wanted in our *evil little project*. Thats wad we are calling it now. we won't want anyone to find out about it do we? anyway. after i reached home. i change out of my uniform into my kain batik and tied it into a halter dress. then i slept. i slept from 5 to 8.15 and was late for my tuition. so paiseh, she wait until so long. haha.

anyway, she got big problem lah. u noe maths, u should be able to spot it when u need to used a certain type of method. she cant see leh. then she careless and abit slow in her work. hmm. terrible.. wad to do arh? i oso dunno. haiyah. i should go to sleep. late nights arnt doing me any good. haha. tml got national day concert. alot of the people i like to watch are performing. nyah nyah. woo!

am empty...

coz i am not full! haha.. get it? today was an uneventful day. but i have a run of good luck. all the tests i got back today, got an A and above. even got 49 out of 50 for my malay common test, which is rare, because usually, my cikgu will have a lot of comments about my sentence construction. then deduct here, deduct there. lalala... but i tink he abit lenient liao. haha. hmm. thats what teaching does to you.

the class is planning to put up an item for teacher's day concert. auditions are 12 days away. now only got rough plan. still have to arrange for music, casting, costumes, props and rehearsal. Alot of time u noe. but some ppl still procastinating. haiyah we do later lah. u decide lah. u ask so-and-so to do lor. later we ask the klass. we'll nvr get things done. but wad can i do? i am like a spare tyre, (the fact that i do have a spare tyre round my waist has got nth to do with this) used only when the tyres r busted. oh well, thats life. i lament the fate of human kind and its coexistence and interdependence with each other and other species. oh man!

lalala... guess i'll do someting else... thing is... i cant write private stuff here...Bah!

no jeremy... the tag-board ain't down any longer

hah! what ever... yah.. u can use the tag-board up there... hmm... oops. forgot about the fullstops. haha. i just realised that hmmm... i can't remember what i wanted to type. lost my train of thought there. oh! i remember! i just realised that the prelims are 24 days away. crap. Thanks to nadya, now i am panicking. but not panicky enuff to get off the net. hahax. how paradoxical. i think i should go off now. and only come once in three days for like, 1 hour. hahah.

was surfin for mp3 players. found the best ones under creative. wish i can get the 10gb wan bt they cos like 400+ argh... the woes of a student. hah! i shall ask my parents for one. wait for my examination results. than can grab off them. haha. i got my handphone from them the last time. haha. hmm.... yesh.. strive to work hard! yesh! okay go off liao... buaiz

tag-board is down...

so pls... leave our comments at the bottom... u know, when u scroll down after my entry, u see the 0 comments at the bottom is a weird colour... ya click that. then leave me a note.. then if it is is totally down, we'll switch to sumting else... yah? oh man, i forgot. i forgot to not type three full stops at the end of every sentence. damnit. haha. helped my mom cooked just now. which was unusual because its not often i help her cook for the whole duration. lasted almost 3 hours. But considering the amount of food that we cooked, i realised that it wasnt that much anyhoo.

anyway. Have decided on my life mission. To be filthy rich. yes. you ppl have probably heard of this ambition of mine. but now i am truly set on it. i actually thought of my gameplan, not so ambiguous on it anymore. i shan't state here what made me decide on my gameplan and wad exactly is my gameplan. okay. now i see that its no point to write this here. oh well. at least there's something. haha.. had a laughable dream last night. i can't say it here. its too embarrasing. it'll be revealing myself too much to u all. i'd die of embarassment if anyone finds out.

i realise that i am boring. boring. boring. boring. and bored. very bored. tons of stuff to do... but i am rotting in front of the computer. haiz. human nature. procastinate procastinate. blurgh. i shall do my further analysis of kotc now. i don't want to start on twelfth night. the language so cheem a.k.a. beyond my comprehension. its not so difficult i guess butif u consider the no. of double meanings shakespeare has employed, the list of possibilities are endless. and considering that shakespeare was a someone deprived, middle-aged, balding old man, imagine the number of sexual innuendos he has. and the fact that antonio and sebastian were like gay.. ahahaahhahaha... okay, so their not blatantly gay. but how can someone love a member of an opposite sex so much? no one can. even though that person is one's siblings. aint it weird? urgh. buaiz